


The beast within 21/?

by iantosgal (orphan_account)



Series: The Beast Within [21]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Timelines, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-04
Updated: 2013-04-04
Packaged: 2017-12-07 11:49:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/748192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/iantosgal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack is back from his time with the Doctor and his team are keeping something from him, but what? Set after KKBB.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The beast within 21/?

**Author's Note:**

> I’m planning on using some elements of two of the torchwood books for some of the upcoming chapters. I hope this will be ok with everyone. I plan on using some plot points and characters from “Pack Animals” and from “Skypoint”. Just forewarning in case anyone hasn’t read them...if not, WHY NOT? Go and read them!!! :P

Ianto leaned over the railings and looked down at the two doctor’s working in the autopsy area. 

“Alright?” he asked, making them look up at him. 

“Alright mate,” Owen replied. 

“He looking after you then, Martha?”

“I think it’s more me looking after him to be honest,” Martha laughed. 

“Oi! Have you come here just to cause trouble, Yan?” Owen asked, giving him the bird and a cheeky smile. 

“What, me? Never. Just bored out of my mind. Thought I’d see how my favourite doctor is getting on.”

“Ah mate, I didn’t know you cared,” Owen said. 

“Ah, that’s awkward, I was actually talking to Martha,” Ianto replied, with a big grin. Owen shot him a look that said he knew Ianto was joking but he was still going to pay for it later. “So, Martha, this boyfriend of yours...”

“Yes, Ianto, what about him?” Martha asked, turning to look at him with an amused but confused expression. 

“What’s his name?”

“Tom.”

“What does he do?”

“He’s a doctor.” Martha was smiling at him now in bemusement, shaking her head slightly.

“Ah so he’s a colleague?” 

“We’ve worked together in the past,” Martha said, in a way that said she wasn’t completely answering the question. 

“And how did you find that?”

“Ok, ok,” Owen interrupted Ianto’s interrogation. “Martha can you give us a minute?”

“Sure,” Martha said, shooting Ianto a look as she made her way up the stairs, past him and into the main hub.

Ianto jogged down the stairs, pulled himself up onto the table and stared pointedly at Owen. 

“What do you want, Ianto?”

“I want to know what’s going on with you and Tosh?”

“Me and Tosh? Nothing...nothing is going on.”

“And why not, exactly? I thought you had a thing for her.”

“I...I do.”

“Well then what’s the problem?”

“Can we not do this now?”

“Why? Now’s a good time as any.”

“Yan...”

“Come on. If this is about dating a co-worker then stop worrying. Me and Jack are constantly having little tiffs and most of our major arguments are about work and yet we’re still hanging on in there. Martha’s dating someone she has worked with and that seems to be going fine, right? Like Tosh said, maybe the trick is to go out with someone who knows what you do and you two are crazy about each other, so to me it’s a no brainer.”

“Yeah well, it all sounds simple when you say it like that,” Owen shot back. 

“It is simple, Owen.”

“No, Yan, it isn’t.”

Ianto slid off the autopsy table and stood in front of Owen, blocking his view of the screen he was staring at to try and avoid the conversation. 

“Owen, you’re my best friend. You can tell me anything. So...just talk to me,” he pleaded, because there was something in his eyes and in the tone of his voice that Ianto just didn’t like. 

“I’ve been in love twice. I couldn’t save Katie and I wasn’t enough for Diane to want to stay and I lost them both. I thought I was gonna break when Katie died. I was so angry and I just wanted to smash things. But Torchwood was there to pick me up and give me something to funnel all my rage into and I started to think I was going to be ok. It still hurt, still does now, but I can manage. Then Diane came tumbling into my life and I thought, just for a minute, that I might actually have found someone again. Someone I could love and who could love me. But I wasn’t enough, I wasn’t enough for her, Yan, and she left and...well...we all know how that turned out. I nearly destroyed the world.” Owen sat down on the autopsy table and buried his head in his hand. “You should have hated me. You all should of. But you didn’t. I remembered that I always had Torchwood and my team...my friends. Then I found you, my best mate, and I had you and our furry friend to focus on. I haven’t thought about any of this shit in months. But every time I look at Tosh and I let myself think about what we could have...it scares the shit out of me. Because I could lose her. I will probably lose her. It’s the job. There isn’t a pension scheme for a reason. And honestly, Yan, I don’t think I can pick myself up again.”

There was a long silence as Ianto digested all the words that had tumbling out of Owen’s mouth. It was like a dam had been broken and Ianto wasn’t sure what to do with it. After a while he pulled himself up next to Owen and clasped his hands in his lap. 

“You didn’t find me, I was always here. You were just too pig headed to notice,” Ianto said eventually. “Which is exactly what you’re doing with Tosh. She’s always been there, ready to love you if you’d only let her.”

Owen smiled slightly but said nothing. 

“You’re not the man you were back then anyway.”

“Aren’t I?” Owen asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“When I first met you, you were just a very angry man. I could see it in the set of your mouth and there was this hardness in your eyes. I didn’t know about Katie back then but I could tell you’d been through a lot. Recognised the signs. You wouldn’t let anyone close. I didn’t really try at first because I was so wrapped up in Lisa, but there was something about you. We had a similar sense of humour so I tried to use that to get close but you just lashed out, called me Tea Boy and pushed me away. It was obvious how Tosh felt about you but you brushed her aside. You even managed to keep Jack at bay and he was close to the whole team, but he just couldn’t quite get inside your walls even though I don’t think he realised at the time. In fact, the only people you let that little bit closer where the two people you probably had the least bond with.”

“Gwen and Suzie.”

“Yep. Suzie because she was almost as emotionless as you so she was safe, or rather she seemed it at the time.”

“And what about Gwen, Dr Phil?”

“Gwen was everything you wanted to be,” Ianto replied, ignoring Owen’s comment. “She was emotional, she had someone to love and they loved her and you hated that so you wanted to destroy it.”

“I didn’t want to destroy it!”

“Maybe not consciously, Owen. It was only after everything with Diane that you stopped. Because you realised what you were doing.”

Owen was nodding his head slowly and Ianto allowed himself a small smile. 

“Did you ever consider becoming a psychiatrist?” Owen asked.

“I thought I already was one to you sorry lot? You know, provide the coffee with some pearls of wisdom on the side.” Owen huffed out a laugh. “You’re not the only one who’s lost someone,” Ianto said quietly. Owen looked up and finally met Ianto’s eyes. “I lost Lisa and Jack’s lost more people then we could ever comprehend. But somehow, we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down and carry on, and if you’re lucky, you find someone else. You’d be an idiot to let this opportunity go and you’ll spend the rest of your life kicking yourself and wondering what if.”

“Yeah...you’re right.”

“I’m always right.”

“Yeah...” Owen wasn’t really listening anymore. He got to his feet and hurried up the main hub. 

“Oh, I’m good,” Ianto muttered to himself; before following Owen. The alarms sounded as the hub door rolled open. 

“Who wants to help me move a dead weevil?” Jack called out cheerfully. 

“Not right now, Jack,” Ianto replied, following Owen’s progress through the hub. 

Tosh was at her desk with Martha, discussing her findings but she looked up as Owen approached. Ianto smiled over at Jack and stopped a short way away so he could see what was happening without being overly intrusive, aware that Jack and Gwen had hurried up behind him as well and Martha had taken a couple of steps away. 

“Tosh, I’ve been an idiot.”

“Ok...” Tosh replied slowly. 

“All these years you’ve been right there in front of me and I never even realised. You’re amazing. You’re funny and you’re kind and you’re all kinds of crazy intelligent. I love working alongside you. I love that you teach me something new every day. I love that even though I’ve treated you like crap sometimes, you never fail to have faith in me. Tosh...what I’m trying to say is...fuck it. I love you Tosh. I’ve wasted a lot of time but if you let me I would really like to take you out and start making it up to you.”

There was a stunned silence before Tosh launched herself at Owen and the two kissed passionately. Gwen whooped a little and then giggled. 

“Sorry,” she said, but the big grin on her face said she wasn’t sorry in the slightest. 

“I’m so proud,” Ianto said, smiling like a loon. He was starting to think he was wasted here. He should have his own show because, let’s be honest, Oprah had nothing on him. 

***

“Where is everyone?”

“I sent them home.”

“And since when did you get to send everyone home?” Jack asked with a laugh. 

Ianto grinned and slid his arms around Jack’s waist and rested his head on his shoulder.

“Since you said it looked like it was going to be a quiet night. Owen and Tosh headed off for their first date and Gwen and Martha went to grab a takeaway to take back to Rhys.”

“Poor Rhys, those two are gonna give him a headache!”

“They do get on well, I’ll give you that,” Ianto laughed. 

“Yeah and neither of them are the shy, retiring type,” Jack said. His hand came down to clasp Ianto’s where they rested on his stomach. “So we just need to move that weevil and we can head home too.”

“Weevil’s already taken care of,” Ianto admitted. Jack turned in his arms and gave Ianto a hard stare. 

“Owen will be pissed. You’re supposed to be taking it easy.”

“Come on. I’m fine,” Ianto sighed exasperated and shook his head. 

“This time.”

Ianto looked up sharply. 

“Jack...”

“I really thought I was going to lose you, Yan. I don’ think you really understand. I thought you were dead.”

Ianto found himself pulling away and backing up, turning to have his back against Jack. 

“I thought you were going to die, right there in front of me. Do you know what that would have done to me?”

“What do you want me to do? Apologise for saving Owen’s life?”

“No. I just want you to understand how much you mean to me. How much you mean to all of us.”

The air was thick with silence but Ianto couldn’t turn and face Jack, because he didn’t want Jack to see his face. He had been terrified, lying there with the blood filling his lungs and he thought that was it, that his life was over and he’d never see Jack again. But somewhere inside he knew that he would be ok. 

In all honesty, he was terrified. Everything had changed since the wolf had become part of him but this...this was something else. If Copley was right then he might not be able to die. Would he live longer? Would he live long enough to see his sister and her family die of old age? Would he outlive the rest of the team? Would he outlive everyone he loved?

The only person he couldn’t outlive was Jack. But would Jack really want to be with him for so long? Before Jack went away, they hadn’t even labelled what was between them and when he’d come back he’d been, for want of a better word, damaged. Ianto couldn’t shift the feeling Jack had latched onto Ianto for comfort and then not been able to end it once he found out about the wolf. 

But as Jack’s arms wrapped tightly around his waist and pulled him flush to his chest, pressing a light kiss to his neck, he pushed those thoughts down. He knew that wasn’t true. But the fact remained, those thoughts were there. 

“Ianto, I love you,” Jack whispered and Ianto found the tightness in his chest ease. “You scared the shit out of me. I know you think you’re invincible but we don’t know that yet. I can’t lose you, Yan, I can’t.”

“I’m sorry,” Ianto breathed. 

Jack turned Ianto round to face him and kissed him passionately. 

“It’s ok.” Jack slid threaded their fingers together and tugged gently. “Let’s go home.”

Ianto smiled softly. When did Jack start thinking of his flat as home?


End file.
